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Personal Experience with a Narcissist

Personal Experience with a Narcissist

To start, anyone can fall into an accidental relationship with a narcissist. It is much easier than outsiders may think. It may be easy to look in and see the red flags, but when you are being manipulated you become confused. This post will be about my personal experience in a relationship with a narcissist. I won’t be able to get into too many details due to legal reasons, but I hope this can help you reading if you are in this situation.

Round 1

A relationship with a narcissist can start just like any other relationship. You think the guy or girl is cute and has a charm to them and you want to see more. In my case, he fit the perfect image of what a man and future husband should look like. He had a house, decent income, he was older, and had a close family. I was 21 when we started dating and always wanted to experience success; because of his “status”, I thought he could give that to me.

In the beginning, the relationship was fun and exciting! I thought I was finally with my future husband who could also give me the image I wanted. He was nice and romantic, sending me roses and taking me to dinners! I thought I was in a fairy tale. Everything I had dreamed of was coming true! Through the relationship, it seemed like we were really in love. Until I started to notice that I was sad all the time. I had no idea why I was always so down when I was alone. There was this disappointing feeling that I just couldn’t shake or understand.

This is when I began to deny what I was feeling. I also started to notice and deny signs of emotional abuse. He was bulldozing over our conversations (talking over me or interrupting and implying what I was saying didn’t matter) and would knock me down, then pick me back up. In other words, he would insult me and then compliment me. I found myself chasing this high that I felt in the beginning. That same feeling attached to that vision, but it was hopeless. It never came. After breaking it off with him, more of the insults came out. That I wasn’t going to amount to anything, that I was a whore, that I had an awful family, and that I would be absolutely nothing without him.

Round 2

Then comes round 2. I agreed to talk to him about what happened. He knew communication was important to me and used that to his advantage. In the moment, I thought the conversation was groundbreaking, that he had really changed into a better person. Nope! After looking back, I talked and he barely said anything. We started dating again having the same high feeling attached to that original vision.

Family and Control

By the end of the second round of dating, he started planting this seed in my head about my family. He started to drive a wedge between me and my family (knowing that they were seeing the red flags). I started to think that I should no longer speak to my father because he didn’t approve of our relationship (my dad, Ken, saw the red flags from the beginning). My dad and I started arguing regularly. I just couldn’t understand why he didn’t see how much I “loved” my narcissist. All of the arguing drove me right back to my narcissist. It was interesting because when I was asked why I “loved” the narcissist, I couldn’t come up with any real reasons.

Control was another sign. He started demanding he get a key to my apartment because I was getting a new roommate (needing control). He demanded that I stop modeling unless I get paid bigger money for it (needing control), that I quit my job because it wasn’t good enough (needing to control image), and I wasn’t allowed to have guy friends (needing control).

We eventually broke up because of his emotional abuse to me and physical abuse to my little sister. He was flirting with another girl right in front of me and told me I was a b**** for not being cool with it. Of course the same insults came with it. It went on worse from there. After this incident (a day or two before Christmas by the way) I was convinced I was done and I would never go back. That Christmas with my family was filled with sorrow and pain. To this day I feel ashamed for having to put my sister in harm’s way and my family through the pain.

Round 3

Further along came the third round! This time was very similar to the last. I came back into his life feeling lonely. He reached out saying he wanted to talk about what happened once again. I said no. He needed the control back and won me over with surprise roses and expensive dinners once again. At the time, I thought these were signs of a changed man, but now I know otherwise. There was a little something different about this time. A few weeks in he started repeatedly trying to convince me he wasn’t cheating on me. THIS WAS A RED FLAG. Especially because I never accused him of cheating. I started noticing more signs and listening to my father. At the end of just two short months, I broke it off for the last time.

We went to a public place to talk. I went with intention of breaking up with him, but decided to talk to be kind and give him one last chance. He couldn’t win me over this time. I left to meet with the friends who helped me gather the courage to break up with him for a drink to celebrate. Then, I went home to sleep for an early start to the next day. In the middle of the night, he entered my apartment while I was sleeping. I can’t go into detail for legal reasons, but it was terrifying.

I have an experience with a Narcissist. Any advice?

Please notice the signs. Please listen to the friends and family that care about you. Watch for the red flags. Know that you are strong enough to leave and be in control of your own life. Don’t chase after the hope that your narcissist will get better. Don’t continue to hope the relationship will be happier. Listen to your gut. There was something off that I couldn’t quite place in the beginning. That little voice that was saying “abort mission”. Listen to it. Your gut can get you out of a bad situation before you know you’re in it.

If you or someone you know is in a relationship with a narcissist and needs help, please contact us.

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5 Signs You are in a Narcissistic Relationship

There are many signs you are in a narcissistic relationship, but today we will address 5 simple signs. If you are concerned you may be dating or even married to a narcissist, this may help clear up that concern. First off, we need to define what a narcissist is. A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in themself. To clarify further, they put themselves first before others, believing they are more important than the other. Here are a few signs to help you know if you are in a relationship with a narcissist.

1.) The Relationship Feels Off

Any relationship can feel a little off for any number of reasons, but if you feel you may be the one putting in the majority of the effort into the relationship, this may be a sign you are involved with a narcissist. If you find your partner continuing to take without giving back to you, that means your relationship is not in balance. In our experience, we find the person not putting in enough effort to create a balanced relationship tends to not care about the relationship as much. In other words, the narcissistic partner cares more about themselves and what may benefit them from the relationship more than you. However, this is likely the case in more extreme circumstances. For example, you and your partner live two hours away from each other and you find yourself driving to them 90% of the time while also paying for dinner and entertainment 90% of the time.

2.) Your Family and Friends are Warning You

Having an outside perspective can be helpful in understanding if you are in a narcissistic relationship. Being in a relationship can blind you from the negativity, because you are just too close to see it. If you have family and friends who truly care for you, they will notice. Simply put, if your family and friends are telling you that you may be in a toxic relationship, then you should take that opinion into strong consideration. It may be wise to sit down and discuss this perspective. If you find yourself justifying the toxic or narcissistic behavior, that is a major sign! It may be emotionally difficult (trust me, I know!), but well worth it in the end if the relationship is causing depression or anxiety.

3.) You Have to be Someone Else

This is a HUGE sign you are involved with a narcissist. Being able to be who you truly are is one of the best ways to know you are in a healthy relationship. A narcissist will tell you that you need to change, but they may not be that direct. You can find yourself wondering who you have become. Where did my happy self go? How come I don’t enjoy old hobbies or friends? Narcissists use subtle body language and negative hints to tell you that you are not good enough. For example, I started modeling for a small local car magazine for free. At first, my ex-boyfriend was supportive because it was nice cars and nice dresses (no nudity or bikini shots), then it turned into demands not to model unless I was paid. Eventually, that turned into not being allowed to model at all. He needed the control (narcissistic trait) and I wasn’t allowed to do something that I loved.

4.) You Have Completely Changed

Narcissists are great at making their partner feel unworthy. As a kind-hearted person, you want to make your partner happy, so you start taking their advice. Next thing you know, you are a completely changed person. You literally can look at yourself in the mirror one day and wonder who you are. Physically you may look different, or you may notice you haven’t talked to your family in while, even though you were very close to them. Try to keep track of all of these changes. It will help you understand what kind of a relationship you are in quicker, so you can get out faster.

5.) You Secretly Record Conversations

Many clients come into Love Your Life Hypnosis and talk about feeling the need to secretly record their conversations with their partner. This is a SERIOUS sign. If you are recording your conversations, so you can see if you are the issue….Here’s some good news, you aren’t the Narcissist! On the other hand, you probably feel guilty, like you are the reason you are feeling depressed. In the initial moment of this idea, you feel there is something wrong with you. You feel like you want to improve to make you both happier, and the way to do that is to record the conversation. Please do this! You may be surprised when you listen to that recording later, that you find the problem isn’t you. You start to hear what they are saying and start to see how toxic they are.

In the End…

Every relationship is different. If you feel a little off about your relationship, this does not necessarily mean you are involved with a narcissist. It can mean that you simply have something to communicate through with your partner, but if that “off” feeling is lingering and you still feel this way after you communicate your feelings, you may be dealing with a narcissist. You especially know you are dealing with a narcissist if you are to blame for all of the relationship’s issues. In other words, the small concerns you raise are turned into something that is your fault, instead of being a discussion. It is normal to adjust to your partner’s needs, but it is not normal to completely change yourself for your partner. Theses signs can be difficult to see. It helps to reach out to close friends and family to get their perspective.

We hope this helps you get out of a narcissistic relationship, or atleast helps you clarify your feelings about it. Please stay tuned for our next blog post; explaining first hand experience in a narcissistic relationship and the journey out of it. As always, please contact us if you have questions.

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3 Ways Hypnosis Can Give You More Success

3 Ways Hypnosis Can Give You More Success

These are 3 ways hypnosis can give you more success in your life. This does not only mean career success, but also emotional and psychological.

1.) Accept and Let Go of Your Fears

Don’t be afraid, hypnosis can help! Everyone has fears and if bad enough, they can hold you back from living your life to the fullest. At Love Your Life Hypnosis, we work with many clients on understanding, accepting, and letting go of their fears. After some conversation, our Master Hypnotist can help you understand your fear, then use hypnosis to accept it and let it go. When you enter hypnosis, your hypnotist can use the power of suggestion to speak to your subconscious. We suggest to let go of the fear because it is no longer necessary. After a few of these sessions the fear(s) will start to fade or disappear completely. With less fear, you will be able to focus more on your work and simply be happier.

2.) Overcome Anxiety

Anxiety, simply put, is being stressed about the future. Hypnosis can calm those anxieties. Being overwhelmed with anxiety in your work, personal life, finances, and other areas of your life can cause serious performance issues. You may find yourself more exhausted, irritable, and negative. With hypnosis treatment, you can “de-stress”; and therefore sleep better, handle tasks better, and stay more positive, helping you perform better in all areas of your life.

3.) Realize Your Confidence and Motivation

At Love Your Life we like to say you are born with all of the confidence and motivation anyone will ever need, it’s just realizing them. Confidence and motivation (especially confidence) are some of the most common characteristics of successful people. Having confidence means you are not afraid to ask for what you want or deserve, like that promotion or raise; while having motivation means you will get more accomplished. Hypnosis helps you realize this confidence and affirm your self-worth to naturally be able to go after your goals.

More and more studies are being done about how hypnosis and hypnotherapy affect your brain. Hypnosis heals past wounds and leads you to a more successful, happier life. We are also finding that hypnotherapy decreases physical pain. Are you looking to find a hypnotist? Contact us!

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Are You Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired?

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? You aren’t alone. Many people are! Are you looking for a happy and joyful life? Are you the kind of person who knows that something great is waiting out there for you? Do you feel you are always just a moment away from every aspect of your life getting better in every way?

It all starts in the mind. Have you heard of the old phrase “You are your own worst enemy?” It rings with so much truth. Your mind is both the key to all that holds you back and to your every desire to fulfill your every wish (for real). If you find yourself consistently not motivated, stuck in poor circumstance, stuck in poor relationships, and ready for a change…you may be ready to bring on a guide. Contact us for a free consultation call with our Master Life Coach and Hypnotist. Call Ken Dombrowski today to see if hypnosis may be the right fit for you. Check out our youtube channel to also see personal testimonials from people who have graduated our program.

We have helped thousands of people just like you, to find what they have been lacking. Call Today for your Free Consultation.